Take the plunge - find what nourishes body, soul

Randy Zinn, founder of Beyond Mom, has made a business out of helping women make time for themselves because she knows how common it is for them to feel overwhelmed by motherhood and/or career.

“(A mom) quickly begins to think, ‘But what about me? Where did I go? What do I even love anymore?’ My biggest piece of advice is to give yourself moments each week when you touch, literally and figuratively, parts of your life that have nothing to do with being a mom or whatever your professional title might be,” she said.

Zinn and her friend, yoga teacher Allison Gould, offer retreat days just for moms in which they can get in touch with who they were before they were mothers.

“Mothers are the ultimate caregivers, and caregivers are notorious for forgoing self-care,” Gould said. “But people who spend so much of their time taking care of other people really must take care of themselves. If we’re not OK, we’re no good to anyone else.”

“Think about how much more patient and ready to take on the world we feel after we do something wonderful for ourselves,” she added. “If we never do those things, we are bound to burn out, and no one benefits from that. But self-care isn’t only important because it benefits the people we care for, it’s also important because we need to remember to value ourselves as worthy of being treated well in our own right.”

And just how does a retreat help to recharge the batteries?

“A retreat is the equivalent of a giant pause button. A day just for you,” Zinn said. “No interruption, no demands, no requirements but to show up for yourself. As moms we rarely get one full day to be with ourselves and even better, to surround ourselves by people who inspire us. I’m always amazed how one day is enough to make women see their lives a little differently.”

Zinn and Gould’s retreat takes place at a private studio in the town of Ulster. The studio is situated on top of a hill overlooking the Hudson River.

“It’s truly an oasis; the kind of place you enter and don’t want to leave,” Gould said. “The day opens with a welcome and a morning yoga class, followed by free time to swim in the indoor pool, take a sauna, stroll down to the river, sit on the dock, wander up to a pond or garden, sit and drink tea, and chat with the other women.”

Other activities throughout the day include the option to have a mini-massage or meditation lesson, lunch, and a discussion circle.

“The theme varies a bit each time, but always comes back to this idea of ‘Finding the Om in Mom.’ Where is the peace? Where is the contentment? Where is the balance? What are the challenges?” said Gould, adding, “The afternoon offers another opportunity to practice yoga, but in a much gentler, quieter way, and followed by a deep relaxation experience. Finally, we come together to close the day by sharing reflections and inspirations.

“The day is eight hours, but our goal is to send the women home feeling like they’ve been away for days: recharged, rejuvenated and relaxed,” Gould said. “Ready to return to the joyful chaos of motherhood and life, hopefully with a few new tricks up their sleeves.”

Mindful Mosaic Women’s Retreat

Holistic Nutritionist Nicole Glassman created the Mindful Mosaic Women’s Retreat because of a difficult time she experienced in her own life.

“I wished I had had a like-minded community to connect with, learn from and lean on,” she said. “I think by nature women thrive when they connect with others and often we tend to try to do it all ourselves. Then we feel bad when we have needs of our own. This is especially true for mothers who are tending to others constantly and putting their own needs last,” Glassman said.

“A retreat is an escape from the daily routine that not only promotes relaxation and wellness, but it also provides perspective,” she said. “Oftentimes we are too caught up in the robotic nature of life to even ask what our needs are. But a retreat is all about: What do you need? What nurtures you? What is working and what isn’t? It gives you the chance to go deeper while connecting with women who are just like you — even if their life isn’t exactly the same. So many arrive unsure about how they can change their life, they just know they want to bring in more joy, relaxation and balance. They leave with the tools to recreate their life.”

Glassman, who offers her luxury retreats both here in the Hudson Valley and Aurora, Erie County, and coming up in 2017, a location in Tulum, Mexico, said, “We offer guided exercises, creative visioning, nutrition, group work, personal reflection, essential oils, color therapy, flower essences, angel cards, affirmations and more. We also incorporate yoga, live sound healing, poi, meditation and cooking demonstrations. My background is holistic health, so health and nutrition tips are always a part of the program as well.

“I have had so many mothers attend previous retreats and many of them have quite a few ‘aha’ moments about their family life,” Glassman said. “Just by stepping away for a few days they tend to realize how much they are valued at home and how important it is for them to nurture themselves in order to really give to others in their life. They also realize that their thoughts and feelings are shared by so many and that they aren’t alone. But most importantly they realize how much they are doing well already.”

Yoga, pray and play

Stone Ridge resident Nancy Plumer, an intuitive energy healer, yoga teacher and co-founder of Women with Wisdom, offers five-day yoga retreats at the Linwood Spiritual Center in Rhinebeck, among other local retreats and programs. She feels that it is vital that women take time for themselves.

“Many women are responsible not only for themselves, but also their children or aging parents,” she said. One of my favorite sayings is, ‘Never from the depths of the well, always from the overflow.’ I encourage women to keep themselves filled so that they can give to their families, work, etc. from a place of being full and cared for within themselves versus ‘digging deep in their wells’ or the place of stress and exhaustion. This is not easy in our culture of go, go, go.”

“At the yoga retreats, we do restorative and moderate/gentle yoga, breath work, deep relaxation, mindfulness practices, including meditation, conscious eating, working with habitual thoughts and behaviors, reflection in small groups, and writing exercises,” she said. “(We also) play — games, sharing and dance, and are open to what wants to be known to us in the moment,” she said.

“A retreat can help recharge the batteries, as the person can show up and just be — a woman can stop doing,” she said. “Meals are prepared and all she has to do is show up. She has the opportunity to engage and listen to others who can sometimes articulate what is present for her and she can’t speak it. I think magic, or some may say spirit, works when women share with each other their challenges and joys in life — one does not feel alone and may even reframe and see their lives differently.”

Jackie DiMarzo is a freelance writer. Contact her at life@poughkeepsiejournal.com

Retreats for moms

•Beyond Mom, Randi Zinn, Finding the Om in Mom Retreat; email: Terri@randizinn.com to be added to the retreat newsletter; visit http://beyondmom.com/

•Mindful Mosaic Women’s Retreats, Nicole Glassman; 1-212-245-3129; email info@mindfulhealth.biz; visit http://mindfulhealth.biz/

•Women with Wisdom, Nancy Plumer, 845-687-2252; email Nplumer@hvi.net; visit http://www.womenwithwisdom.com/

How to schedule ‘me time’

Randi Zinn of Beyond Mom and Nicole Glassman of Mindful Health are both fans of a well-organized calendar.

“Finding time is a huge hurdle for any busy mom, but my discovery is that the busier I am, the more I get done. Why? Because I must be highly organized and prioritize,” Zinn said. “We can’t simply hope we’ll make that yoga class or that glass of wine with our best girlfriend. We must schedule it in and commit to showing up. My workouts and self-care are just as important as my work-related meetings. Busy moms can’t be loosey-goosey. It’s just a fact.”

Glassman has her own system: “I think the key to finding time in your day for destressing is to schedule it. I recently had a client print out a large calendar for the month and color code it with ‘have-to’ vs. ‘want to’ activities. This way she could see how much time she was devoting to herself. It will never be even, but I wanted there to at least be several things in a week that were for her. This gave her the visual as well as the ability to plan ahead. I also think it is important to ask for help. We are so determined to do things ourselves and then we burn out. If you are a mother of children who aren’t infants, maybe you can arrange a play date where you can leave to have time for yourself and then you can offer that mother the same arrangement.”

Nancy Plumer of Women with Wisdom said, “I have found first thing in the morning works for me to meditate, read daily reflections, journal and sometimes talk to a friend. I also have an app on my phone called MindBell. It is a Tibetan bell that rings every hour between 9 a.m. and 9 p.m. This just reminds me to be present and breathe when I hear it. For me, these practices needed to become a habit.”

Glassman added: “I also encourage you to ask yourself what really nourishes you? If it is nature, make it a point to try to take a walk during lunch where you aren’t attached to social media, or take off your shoes and lay in a park. I think the biggest issue is we tend to think we need to do things we can’t afford or make huge changes in our schedule to really make a difference, but the truth is the daily small changes create lasting effects.”

Destressing activities for busy moms

Here are some ideas for moms to put on their schedule for “me time”:

•Hiking; running; Zumba; cycle class; tai chi; reading a good book; reduce screen time; drawing; journal writing; throwing clay; chatting with friends

— Allison Gould, Hudson Valley-based yoga teacher

•Hot baths; reading uplifting books, magazines and poetry; walking alone or with a friend; laying down to watch a movie; connecting with a friend; guided meditation

— Nancy Plumer, co-founder of Women with Wisdom

•Spending time in nature; spending time with animals; sea salt baths; listening to music; lighting natural candles; using essential oils in bath; diffusing essential oils in the home; massage; acupuncture; spending time with a good friend; watching a funny movie or television show; being around people that take life less seriously

— Nicole Glassman, holistic nutritionist