Attitude of ‘kids will be kids’ can be trouble

From the time children are young, most parents promote the concept of an “open door policy,” and with good reason. The idea is to make everyone feel welcome in their child’s home. It often generates a sense of place for children, and also allows parents to get to know the neighborhood kids whose ideas and behaviors are likely shaping the character and perspectives of their own children.

By the time high school graduation rolls around, these are often the households that have become the epicenter of wonderful memories for kids. That said, they also become the most natural location for the milestone celebrations of the season. Unfortunately though, kids will often push the envelope and alcohol sometimes appears at these celebrations. With some of the best intentions, parents may sanction alcohol at these end-of-the-school-year and summer parties, or better yet, turn a blind eye to it.

While some parents would argue that they prefer to host the parties so that they can enforce driving restrictions and keep an eye on the kids, the legal ramifications of underage drinking in your home should not be overlooked. An attitude of “kids will be kids” and “they will find a way to drink alcohol anyway, so they may as well do it where I can keep an eye on them” can land you in a lot of hot water.

Here are four things you need to know if you want to host a party for underage guests:

1. You are responsible for what goes on in your home and on property. Period. The ostrich approach is not going to protect you if someone gets hurt.

2. There are state laws and local “Social Host” laws which make it a crime to give alcohol to a person under the age of 21 or to help that person get alcohol. Also they hold you civilly responsible if someone is hurt.

3. You will be held responsible to a third person, if they are hurt as a result of the intoxication of a person under 21 years of age, and you contributed in any way to that intoxication.

4. You are responsible for the kids who attend a party at your home and on your property. You have a duty to use “reasonable care” to protect them. If a child becomes intoxicated and is hurt, even if they hurt themselves as a result of their intoxication, you could be responsible under principles of negligent supervision.

There are so many ways to honor the tremendous accomplishments of your son or daughter as graduation day approaches. Hosting a party and continuing the “open door policy” that was very innocuous back in the days may not be the best option, however. That policy was a no-brainer when the kids drank chocolate milk together – but as their beverages of choice have likely changed, so, too, might your perspective on opening your doors to all of the local kids.

The days of allowing your child to have a summer party, and then going to bed and hoping for the best, may be behind us, but all is not lost. If your teenage son or daughter wants to have a party or summer get-together, just be mindful of the aforementioned risks associated with hosting. Be sure to check on the kids throughout the night. If you see suspicious behavior, confront it. If you determine that underage drinking is happening at your house, take extra care that everyone gets home safely. Most importantly, if your child has already broken the rules and there has been underage drinking in your home, you may want to consider not hosting another party for awhile.

Consider talking extensively with your son or daughter to help him or her understand the big picture associated with a graduation and summer parties, and what you can do as a team to mitigate the risk; this dialogue may also shed light on the bigger responsibilities that come with adulthood. And it’s never too soon for that!

Lindsey M. Goldstein, Esq., is partner at Goldstein & Goldstein, LLP, Poughkeepsie.